Book Review
Lost Treasures of Cincinnati
Amy E. Brownlee

Amy E. Brownlee is a lifelong Cincinnatian. She naturally learned a lot about the city growing up here then used that knowledge and added much more during her ten years at Cincinnati Magazine. An awful lot of the treasures she writes about in Lost Treasures of Cincinnati were lost before she arrived but a rather frightening number have disappeared during her lifetime. Of course, an even larger number have disappeared during mine. Neither of us is responsible for that. I swear it’s coincidence pure and simple.

Lost Treasures of Cincinnati contains five major sections with several sub-sections in each. Most pages are split between two different lost treasures although more than a few treasures get a page all to themselves. Most descriptions are accompanied by images and these are usually of the actual treasure but there are exceptions to both. I believe that each treasure is described in a single paragraph although it is possible that an exception or two escaped me.

The book opens with “Food and Drink” in Section 1 then covers “Entertainment” and “Retail” in the next two sections. The smallest section, “Media”, is followed by the largest, “Community”. Definitions for those section titles are not particularly rigid and the size of the “Community” section probably indicates that it is the least rigid of all. It is where things like churches and breweries, of which Cincinnati had more than a few, appear.

Most, but not quite all, of the breweries mentioned in the book were gone before I got here. Likewise with restaurants and attractions which together comprise the biggest part of things that have disappeared during my lifetime. I caught one show, Hair, at the Shubert (“Entertainment”) before it was torn down. I also saw one movie at the Albee (“Entertainment”) but I don’t remember what it was. I had one meal each at The Gourmet Room and the Maisonette (“Food and Drink”) before they closed. There are quite a few places in this book where I ate one or more meals or watched one or more movies, plays, games, or concerts. Encountering each of them on these pages prompted memories that went way beyond the single paragraph of text. Reading about places that were already gone when I came to Cincinnati didn’t prompt any memories, of course, but it did make me appreciate just how many treasures have been lost.

I really enjoyed reading Lost Treasures of Cincinnati cover-to-cover front-to-back but as I did, two other ways of reading the book came to mind. With its fairly short standalone essays, it seems like a natural fit for that popular personal reading room with the porcelain furniture. Its use as a reference book also seems rather natural. I don’t mean an every-last-detail reference book to use in conducting deep-dive research but a great place to answer questions like “What was the name of that boat-shaped restaurant?” or “What happened to our NBA team?”. The full index will help the book play that role.

Lost Treasures of Cincinnati, Any E. Brownlee, Reedy Press (October 1, 2022), 6 x 9 inches, 192 pages, ISBN 978-1681063263
Available through Amazon.

Book Review
Cincinnati Curiosities
Greg Hand

Greg Hand has been a man of letters — or at least a man of words — his entire adult life. He began as a newspaper reporter, moved up to editor, left to head up a university PR department, co-authored three books about the university while he was there, then retired. I was not even slightly aware of any of this as it was happening. I only became aware of Hand’s existence when I stumbled upon the blog he started post-retirement. His knowledge of local history and ability to dig up information to augment that knowledge was immediately apparent and I’ve been an ardent reader of that blog ever since that happy discovery. The blog’s name is Cincinnati Curiosities and it can be found here. That the blog would lead to a book by the same name seems pretty natural.

The book borrows more than its name from the blog. I recognize some of the book’s subjects from the blog and I suppose it’s possible that all have appeared there although I don’t believe that’s the case. Of course, there is a good chance that any topics appearing for the first time in the book will show up in the blog sometime in the future.

Cincinnati Curiosities (the book) begins with a definition of Cincinnati taken from Urban Dictionary. When I visited the source, I discovered that the definition was just one of more than forty that individuals have contributed. Most are simply excuses for hurling insults rife with misspellings and such but a few, including the one that Hand chose, make some attempt at being insightful. The Hand-picked quote begins, “A pleasantly bland and annoyingly conservative city…” Although there are some that disagree, I believe that’s a fair representation of the view that most non-residents (and many residents) have of Cincinnati. Hand goes so far as to state that, “We deserve this reputation.” Then, after agreeing that Cincinnati’s “bland” reputation is probably justified, he proceeds to show us that it wasn’t always so.

In fact, later in the book, Hand offers another very different capsulated view of the city. On December 12, 1890, he tells us, “The Palace Hotel had elephant steak on the menu because an elephant was executed by firing squad that morning at the Cincinnati Zoo. Hundreds of people watched. That pretty much summarizes Cincinnati in 1890.”

The book is not just some blog posts strung together. There are, in my opinion, two big differences between blog and book. One is simply the physical difference between holding a book and flipping through pages versus scrolling through items on a screen. The second is grouping. The book organizes the writings in groups so that a subject can be looked at from multiple angles or related stories can be read as a collection. The previous comment about the well-attended elephant shooting begins the chapter titled “The Sensational and the Senseless”. In addition to the tale of a pachyderm’s public demise, the chapter tells of the zoo’s annual Butcher’s Day, people leaping from bridges for profit, musclemen demonstrating feats of strength, and other assorted entertainments.

“The Sensational and the Senseless” is the fourth of ten chapters. Other chapters tell of monsters in the Ohio River (“The Old Weird Cincinnati”), Fanny Trollope’s visit during the “Porkoplis” period (“Tales From the Old City”), the possibility that striptease was invented in Cincinnati (“Freaks, Flesh, and Footlights”), and a large variety of other topics. The striptease claim is based on Millie De Leon’s orchestrated removal of several garters in 1901, and Hand cites the claim in suggesting that a Striptease Hall of Fame might be an “appropriate addition to our Over-the-Rhine neighborhood”. 

Hand’s usually light-hearted reports are often accompanied by contemporary illustrations. At left is a Pears Soap advertisement based on Lillie Langtry’s famous bath in Apollinaris water at Cincinnati’s Grand Hotel in 1883. It’s in the chapter titled “Nudity, Naughtness, and Negotiable Affection”, and if that doesn’t get you interested in the book I don’t know what will.

In addition to authoring this book and the aforementioned blog, Mr. Hand is a founder and mainstay of Stand-Up History which I reported on here. His stand-up presentations typically also fit in the Cincinnati Curiosities category. In a wonderful coincidence, the troupe is appearing at Muse Cafe on the same day that this review is being published. In a not-wonderful coincidence, I am committed to doing something else at the exact same time. Happily (for you, not me), my absence will mean more room for attendees. There is more info here.

Cincinnati Curiosities: Healing Powers of the Wamsley Madstone, Nocturnal Exploits of Old Man Dead, Mazeppa’s Naked Ride & More, Greg Hand, The History Press (November 14, 2022), 6 x 9 inches, 160 pages, ISBN 978-1467152822
Available through Amazon.

Book Review
Red Dirt Girl
Katie Laur

This was one of the most flat-out enjoyable reads I’ve had in a long time. I have seen Katie perform many times, heard her talk on the radio several times, and even chatted with her personally a few times. I knew her as a talented musician and entertaining storyteller but I did not know her as a writer. Others, it seems, have been aware of Laur’s writing skills for some time. It’s my impression that nothing other than the foreword, an introduction, and Katie’s acknowledgments was written specifically for this book. In one of the book’s essays, Katie talks of selling her writing and says she sold everything she wrote. From that, I assume that each of the essays and stories that make up Red Dirt Girl has previously appeared in print somewhere. Where I don’t know and regret that where ever it was, it was outside my field of vision. That I am only now seeing the literary side of Katie is very much my loss. This gal can write.

She writes about growing up in Tennessee, Michigan, and Alabama and the family and music that was so important to her. She writes about the Cincinnati music scene, and many other scenes in the city too. She writes about life as a touring musician traveling by van to regional bluegrass festivals and national radio shows. She writes about staking out her own spot on radio with nearly three decades of Music From The Hills Of Home. And she writes about all of those things with insights that show she was never just singing or talking; she was also listening and watching.

Laur and I arrived in Cincinnati within a year or so of each other so I’m familiar with many of the people and places she writes about. I remember Caledonia, Mister Spoons, and Johnny Rosebud. I remember Aunt Maudie’s (where I almost certainly first saw Katie perform) and the still-thriving Arnold’s. But I remember these things as a customer or audience member while Katie remembers them as an insider. Her memories not only wake up some of my own but also augment them and maybe make me appreciate them even more.

She also writes about people and places I’ve had no personal contact with at all. In fact, that applies to most of the book’s subjects. While those writings don’t awaken any of my own memories, they are every bit as entertaining as those that do and more educational too.

Being a resident of southwest Ohio during the last third of the twentieth century certainly makes some of the subjects of the stories more familiar but I don’t know that it makes any of the stories better. Laur made her living as a musician so a goodly portion of the book’s content is music related but far from all of it. Bluegrass was her forte so many of the writings that are music related concern bluegrass musicians, venues, and festivals — but far from all of them. I’m fairly confident that reading this book will be flat-out enjoyable no matter where you live and even if you’re not a fan of bluegrass or any other sort of music. Of course, if you did spend some of the last four or five decades in or near Cincinnati and are a bluegrass musician or maybe even a bluegrass fan, you just might be in the book.

Red Dirt Girl: Essays and Stories, Katie Laur, Orange Frazer Press (2022), 6 x 9 inches, 309 pages, ISBN 978-1949248-593

Available direct from the publisher, Orange Fraser Press, and at local bookstores, Iris Book Cafe and Urban Eden.

Stand Up History Live

Historian Greg Hand and mixologist Molly Wellman dreamed up Stand-Up History a few years back but, due to a combination of ignorance and conflicts, it took me until January 2023 to actually make it to a performance. I liked the concept the instant that I heard of it, and the reality did not disappoint in the slightest. That January event was at the Muse Cafe on Harrison Avenue. The subject of this post, my second Stand-Up History experience, took place at the Mercantile Library in Cincinnati’s downtown. Not only would Molly be one of the evening’s presenters, she had made and was serving a big bowl of her Ginger Punch.

Stand-Up History is a wonderful learn-while-you-laugh program. As you no doubt guessed, the name came from “stand-up comedy”. In fact, searching for “stand-up history” will result in a bunch of links to the history of stand-up comedy pushing hits for this operation well down the list. The name isn’t all that’s borrowed, of course. A program consists of individuals standing up and talking. The subjects are all historical and the presenters are all experts but the presentations have a decidedly humorous focus and the subjects are chosen to assist in generating smiles, grins, chuckles, and guffaws. 

First up tonight was astronomer Dean Regas. Regas was also a presenter at that January show I attended. I’ve heard him on radio many times but that was my first time seeing him in person. Tonight’s topic was “How to Teach Grown-Ups About Pluto” which happens to be the name of Regas’ latest book.  It was a good use of his wonderful wit and his knowledge of both science and history.

Author and blogger Dann Woellert was up next with “Our Badass Sister of Charity and the Creation of Cincinnati Pizza Pie”. Sister Blandina Segale’s long life included serving her church in Colorado and New Mexico, dealings with a lynch mob and Billy the Kid, and establishing institutions such as Saint Rita’s School for the Deaf and San Antonio Parish in Cincinnati. One of the first places in America where pizza was served was at San Antonio festivals. It’s pretty amazing where the history of food will lead you if you let it.

As Cincinnati’s favorite mixologist, Molly Wellmann is an expert on the history of Cincinnati’s adult beverages and the places that served them. She sort of ventured out of her comfort zone tonight by telling the story of “How Hyde Park Became a Village Without Having a Tavern”. It was long ago annexed by the city of Cincinnati and now has taverns aplenty.

Greg Hand, of Cincinnati Curiosities, finished things up by poking holes in “Myths Cincinnatians Dearly Want to Believe”. There were myths about hills, chili, ketchup, and more. The final myth addressed was that Mark Twain quote about Cincinnati and the end of the world. “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati. It is always ten years behind the times,” has often been attributed to Twain but, as Hand pointed out, there is absolutely no evidence that he actually said it. I’ve always thought the quote presented Cincinnatians with a dilemma. On one hand, it’s kind of nice to have someone as famous as Twain notice your city but, on the other, very few people really want to live in a place that is ten (or, in some versions, twenty) years out of date. I don’t believe that Hand mentioned it but I’ve turned up a claim that the first reference to the quote in print was in 1978. A similar quote about the end of the world and Bavaria being fifty years behind appeared in print in 1886 and probably existed earlier. By 1978, Twain had been dead for 68 years and the Bavarian comment was 94 years old. That makes being one or two decades “behind the times” appear not so bad.

So here’s the whole crew including MC Mike Perrino in the middle of all the presenters. Having been founded in 1835, the Mercantile Library has lots of history. Perrino reminded us of that by noting that this was the 165th anniversary of an appearance by Herman Melville that local papers reported as “Earnest, though not sufficiently animated.” Tonight’s presenters seemed to be well aware of the importance of being animated. Some of them will be doing this somewhere on the third Thursday of every month for the foreseeable future. Next month, Molly, Greg, and Mike will be joined by Ann Senefeld at Muse Cafe. Details here.

A Return to the Cavalcade

I spent my freshman year at the University of Cincinnati in an on-campus dorm. My high school buddy Dale attended college in Indiana that year. During the following summer, Dale decided to transfer to the Ohio College of Applied Science in Cincinnati, and the two of us decided to share an apartment. The OCAS school year started a little ahead of UC’s so Dale was already settled in when I drove down to join him. Following my drive, I was ready to relax in my new home but that was not to be. Dale and a newly met classmate were waiting at the door. They had plans and basically turned me immediately around. The three of us headed off to Cincinnati Gardens and the 1966 Cavalcade of Customs.

They say this year’s Cavalcade of Customs is the 63rd annual event. I think that means that the show I attended in ’66 was probably the seventh or eighth. The Gardens was demolished in 2018 but the Cavalcade had moved on well before that. It’s now held downtown at the convention center. I was there on Friday. Although I don’t remember much about that earlier show, I do recall that there were mirrors on the floor beneath quite a few cars. I probably remember that detail because I think it was the first time I’d ever seen such a thing. Of course, I simply was not used to being around cars with undercarriages worth looking at. Here is one of the mirrors beneath that 1940 Willys in the opening photograph. It reflects the chromed oil pan which reflects some lights that are reflected in the mirror. At least that’s what I think is going on.

I know there were some trucks at that 1966 show but I’m pretty sure they were all smallish pickups like George Barris’ Ala Kart. (Which I think may have actually been there.) Americans’ attraction to great big haulers that do very little hauling is something that has developed in the six decades since, and it is certainly in evidence at the Cavalcade.

This 1946 Chevrolet is my personal favorite of all the trucks on display. It’s not very big and it’s not really a custom but it doesn’t seem like the organizers were all that hung up on having only customs in their Cavalcade of Customs so I’m not either. It is a great-looking restoration/recreation and those miniature gas pumps surrounding it don’t hurt.

These definitely qualify as customs although none are in the same class as the previously mentioned Ala Kart. Truly radical George Barris-style customization just might be a thing of the past.

There are several customized motorcycles in this year’s show and at least one of them might be considered radical. I’m pretty sure both of those statements were true of the 1966 Cavalcade as well.

Some of the displayed cars brought back memories beyond attending that show back in the 60s. I have owned a second-generation Corvair, a Chevy Vega, and a C6 Corvette. My cars were not identical to these, however. My ‘Vair was red, my Vega green, and my ‘Vette blue.

More cars are on display on the third floor which is reached via two very long escalators. There are some very interesting automobiles here but few if any could be called customs. I’m guessing that the theme is sports and performance cars, and the mix includes some slightly exotic vehicles.

The long line is not for a car. Several celebrities are slated to appear at the Cavalcade and — for a fee — autograph something or pose for a selfie. I’d spotted a line of folks on the first floor waiting for Henry Winkler to show up. That was a respectable line of thirty or forty but this line is considerably longer (There were at least twenty people behind the point where I took the picture.) and the celebrities it led to were already in place and hard at work.

Having nothing with me that I wanted signed, I avoided the line, exchanged knowing winks with a Miata, and started down the escalators.

Today, January 15, is the 2023 Cavalcade of Customs‘ final day. It opens at 10:00 and closes at 6:00.

Boar’s Head Festival

Back in 2013, I posted an article about the four oldest Cincinnati Christmas Traditions after learning about them by way of a lecture at the Cincinnati Museum Center.  Three of the four were displays and I had seen all three multiple times and that year I saw them all again. The fourth was not something displayed for a period of time but was an event that required advance ticketing and scheduling that I never made work. I missed a chance to see it online last year when the pandemic caused it to go virtual. Guess I just wasn’t paying attention. This year the event is again live but ticket distribution was online and that really worked for me. I attended the 5:00 performance yesterday.

I’m talking about the Boar’s Head and Yule Log Festival at Christ Church Cathedral. It has been going on since 1940 and it was identified as the third oldest of Cincinnati’s big four Christmas traditions in that Museum Center lecture.

Humans have been eating pigs, including boars, for a long time. Their roasted and garnished heads had been the centerpiece at many a banquet centuries before Christianity was invented. Wild boars are ferocious critters and Christians probably weren’t the first to think of them as something evil. They may not have even been the first to equate the killing of one with the victory of good over evil but they do seem to be the first to make that connection formally and construct a ritual around it. That apparently happened in fourteenth-century England as explained in a legend. The legend says that a student at Queen’s College in Oxford, England, was walking through the forest on his way to Christmas Mass in 1340 when he was attacked by a wild boar. Lacking any other weapon, the quick-thinking student jammed the metal-bound volume of Aristotle he had been reading down the beast’s throat which almost immediately brought on the animal’s demise. The garnished head was presented at that night’s feast and people have been repeating and enhancing the festivities ever since. There is a fair amount of doubt associated with that legend but I hope it’s true. Having Aristotle even slightly responsible for the founding of a Christian ritual is certainly something worthy of deep contemplation.

I know there are hundreds of people involved in the production although I don’t have an actual count. In addition to the visible players, there is a sizable orchestra and choir mostly hidden from sight behind something resembling giant poinsettias. There are many non-speaking roles. The cast includes literal spear carriers although those are probably technically called pikes. But there are lots of singing roles and every vocalist was outstanding. The orchestra and choir were also outstanding meaning that if this was only a musical performance, it would be quite impressive. The lavish costumes and pageantry make it considerably more so.

The storyline is not the easiest thing to follow. It includes — among many other things — good King Wenceslas, the lord and lady of the manor, and the Nativity complete with shepherds and Magi.

At one point, and this just might be my favorite part even though I don’t quite understand it, cast members are climbing over and standing on top of the pews.

It is quite the spectacle and the music is superb. I can understand why it has drawn crowds for more than eight decades. There are just four performances each year. All four for this year have been “sold out” for some time. I put that in quotes for two reasons. One is that tickets are not actually sold; they are free. The second is that the performance I attended was far from full. I know that tickets have always gone quickly and I assumed that meant a full house at every performance. My crude guess is that nearly a third of the seats were empty Saturday.

Today’s (Sunday’s) performances are to be live-streamed. Maybe that’s the reason for the empty seats or maybe there have been empty seats every year. Maybe people who hurriedly scarf up the free tickets balk at putting out any effort to use them.

Light in the Forest

I doubt anyone will be shocked to learn that Cincinnati Nature Center is not inside the official limits of its namesake city. It lies a bit more than fifteen miles east of downtown Cincinnati near the town of Milford. Some, however, might be a little surprised that I had never been there. The center has existed since 1967 but it wasn’t until the fourth night of the third year of the Light in the Forest event that I actually drove into the property. I drove to walk. There are several drive-through seasonal light displays in the area but I believe this is the only walk-through display anywhere near Cincinnati. It’s just over a mile long, pretty much level, and a real treat for the eyes and the other senses too.

The trail opens at 5:30 with entry assigned at half-hour intervals. I picked the first slot but, in hindsight, that might not have been best. Sunset was at 5:16  and the last rays of sunlight may have benefited the lighted elk by the lake but perhaps not so much the flowers in the Electric Garden by Golden Brown or the color-changing orbs in Owens + Crawley’s Shimmer.

The lingering light probably didn’t affect Polymath’s Fluere very much one way or the other. The projection really held people’s attention and many (including me) stood and stared for a complete cycle of the moving images of butterflies, birds, frogs, and plants.

I treated myself to a white chocolate mocha from Travelin’ Tom’s Coffee Truck just before entering the Krippendorf Lodge. It wasn’t really terribly cold but the hot drink and heated building provided a nice break before heading on down the trail.

Between the lodge and the Visitor Center, lights were descending from the sky and beyond the center, they were twinkling in the trees. I’m sure that many parts of the walk could be appreciated through a good video but the time dimension seemed so important to the twinkling lights that even I was prompted to attempt one. It’s here.

Before looping back to the Visitor Center, the trail continues to a small lake with Lake Lumineer by MDC Design Studio on the other side. The lake reflects the cylinder with its images of wildlife. A pair of Charlie Harper bluebirds can be seen through trees and even better here. The birds are on the side of the Visitor Center which I had erroneously entered earlier. The trail is designed to go past the center, to the lake, then back to the center, and through it. I had simply confused myself by popping into the center as soon as I saw it but eventually sorted things out and caught the big caterpillar as I exited the center as intended.

Near the Abner Hollow Cabin, there is another chance to get warm at a roaring bonfire. The trail forms a big circle with multiple points of entry. I had parked and entered the trail not far from the bonfire.

Even though the bonfire more or less marked the completion of a lap on the trail, I wasn’t quite done. I had been a little disappointed in my earlier look at the Electric Garden which others had cited as a highlight of the experience so I broke some of the oneway pedestrian traffic rules to get a true nighttime look. I was not disappointed at all this time and could now agree with some of the folks I’d overheard earlier. I had dawdled early and often so that many who had started later than I did had passed me long ago.

This was a most pleasant experience and definitely one I recommend. It continues through January 1 with the exception of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I think a 6:00 start might be a little better than 5:30 but there are pros and cons to both. I have enjoyed driving through holiday light displays and I’m sure I’ll be driving through some more. They are bigger with more spectacular displays and they are warmer. But Cincinnati Nature Center’s Light in the Forest offers some real advantages. I’m sure some are immune to it but I, for one, always feel kind of guilty sitting in a line of idling or slowly moving cars and unwelcome fumes are always a possibility when rolling down a window. There is none of that here nor are there any real problems with wanting to travel at a different pace than the guy in front of or behind you. And there’s no problem saying hi to him or her either. “Nature” is very much the operative word here and something I did not fully appreciate until I looked back on my experience is the complete absence of religious or commercial symbols in the displays; Just patterns of light and images of plants and critters. There was — naturally😁 — a touch of commercialism in the gift shop but even there the Santa Clauses were few and were far from prominent in an inventory of classier than usual, often handcrafted, items.

Play Review
Every Christmas Story Ever Told
Cincinnati Shakespeare Company

At just seventeen years of age, I don’t doubt that some will take issue with me calling this a tradition but that’s how I see it. Starting in 2006, the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company has mounted a production of Every Christmas Story Ever Told (And Then Some!) every year except COVID-ravaged 2020. CSC was not the first group to perform the play. That honor belongs to Cape May Stage in Cape May, NJ, which did the play in 2003. Apparently, there were no performances in 2004 then Cape May Stage and two other companies gave it life in 2005. Cape May Stage’s third and final production took place the same year as CSC’s first which means Cincinnati’s sixteen years of performances is the record.

I don’t know when I first became aware of it but it’s certainly been a while, and I long ago read enough about it to think it was something I would enjoy. Yet I somehow had not attended a single performance until this year. They clearly didn’t miss me. This very non-Shakespearean comedy has risen from its very humble beginnings in a downtown bar to become the most popular offering in CSC’s history.

That downtown bar was Arnold’s where the small stage in the courtyard normally might hold a musician or two. The most theatrical things I’ve ever seen there are Reds opening day readings of Casey at the Bat or Who’s On First. I am sure sorry that I missed that first performance and sorry I also missed the next fifteen years even though I don’t know where they took place. I do know, however, one of the actors that appeared in every one of them and this year’s production too. Justin McCombs has been in the cast from the beginning and with the same red Christmas sweater. Other 2022 cast members are Geoffrey Warren Barnes II, Colleen Dougherty, and Candice Handy.

Justin, Geoffrey, and Candice play characters named Justin, Geoffrey/Geoff, and Candice/Candy. Colleen plays Santa Clause who sometimes participates in the action center stage and at other times wisecracks from a stageside sleigh she slowly fills with empty beer — or maybe it’s hard seltzer — cans.

Following some opening remarks from Santa, Candy begins A Christmas Carol but Geoff and Austin aren’t having it. They’ve seen and performed the Charles Dickens story more than enough times and convince her to do every other Christmas story instead. She frequently attempts to return to the original plan with a somber “Marley was dead” but even more frequently participates in whatever story or stories are the focus of the moment.

As one online reviewer somewhat comically (IMO) complains, they don’t really tell EVERY Christmas story but they sure tell a bunch or at least little bits of them. And they sing bits of a bunch of Christmas carols and describe (none too accurately) a bunch of Christmas traditions from around the world. There’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas, It’s a Wonderful Life,  A Charlie Brown Christmas, and a ton of others and all are lovingly skewered. To deliver all those stories, Justin, Geoff, and Candy must each fill dozens of roles and they do so wonderfully. For the audience, identifying each character and story is a large part of the fun. Sometimes the roles are coordinated and sometimes things are something of a smash-up like when Clarence the guardian angel visits Ebenezer Scrouge. The script has obviously been updated over the years to include references to current events. This time around, Ye appears as a spokesperson for fruitcake and Santa admits to buying up all of the Taylor Swift tickets.

Every Christmas Story Ever Told (And Then Some!) runs through the end of the year and can provide some real laughs during a time that can be really stressful to some. Of course, those laughs will only come if you don’t take yourself or your Christmas classics too seriously. I did not see an official age requirement but maybe there should be one. Adult topics and humor are sprinkled about along with the tinsel and fake snow.


Playscripts handles licensing for this play and many others. It is where I learned of that first production in Cape May and other details. Most of what I learned there was not at all surprising but one accidental discovery was. The website provides full production history and allows it to be filtered by state. I filtered it by Ohio in order to more easily check Cincinnati’s history and was surprised to see my high school alma mater on the list. The Drama Club of Ansonia High School, which even now has just over 200 students, performed the play in 2014.

Sideshow Signage

Those who read through the comments on my The Signmaker’s Circus post already know that old circus banners were an important part of that American Sign Museum event earlier this year. Others will have just learned that. Some thirty hand-painted banners from the 1940s and ’50s hung from the walls of the area set up for the celebration and added considerably to the event’s authentic circus feel. An event devoted entirely to those banners took place at the museum on a recent Tuesday.

I arrived at the November 1 event a few minutes early and, knowing where the banners were hanging, headed directly there. Along with a few others, I happily snapped photos of the eye-catching wall hangings until I heard applause coming from elsewhere in the museum. I can only assume that the applause was triggered by the introduction of museum founder Tod Swormstedt because when I reached the real event Tod was telling the story of the banners and The Signmaker’s Circus. The banners were hanging in an empty warehouse that also belonged to their owner. They weren’t really on display but had been hung “just because”. Tod saw them, immediately envisioned them at his museum’s upcoming anniversary party, and asked. Told that, yes, he could borrow them, Tod drove to the Boston area with a helper, rolled up the banners on an upper floor of the warehouse, carried them down a fire escape, and hauled them to Cincinnati. He had been fielding questions about them ever since but not tonight. Tonight he introduced the banners’ owner, David Waller.

David began by telling us that there was almost always some deception in the banners. He made his point with a photo of a woman who was certainly quite small but not nearly as small as depicted on the canvas that identified her as the “world’s smallest mother“. He then claimed that similar deception had occurred tonight. Most of us had been drawn to the event, he said, expecting to hear an expert on circus banners. Instead, we would hear from a mere collector of such banners. Maybe that was an attempt at real deception but few were fooled as David proceeded to prove himself an expert on the banners as well as their creators and subjects.

I guess the title of tonight’s event was a little deceptive but I’ve no doubt it was unintentional. Although promoted as “Under the Big Top: Circus Banners of the 1940s and 1950s”, the event concerned banners advertising sideshow attractions that rarely, if ever, appeared in a ring in the Big Top. Many were people with deformities that attracted the curious. Today that naturally leads to thoughts of exploitation, and no one doubts that was sometimes the case, but sideshows provided income to many who would have had a tough time otherwise. When exploitation was mentioned, Otis the Frog Boy, who owned a car modified so he could drive it, wondered if people would prefer he was on welfare. Sylvia, the Big Footed Girl, made a good living for many years although, unable to wear shoes, she balked at appearing in the cold north. Many sideshow performers padded their paychecks by selling postcards and other items. Part of the spiel about Johann Petursson, the Viking Giant, was that he wore rings the size of napkin rings. He sold copies of his rings as souvenirs. Sometime after one of these rings came into Waller’s possession, he met a buddy’s new girlfriend from Iceland. When the conversation turned to circuses, she told of having a giant for an uncle and produced a childhood picture of her sitting on Johann’s lap. Waller gave her the ring.

Clearly, many of these banners made preposterous claims and stretched truth to the max. Many of the attractions were complete fakes that used mirrors, trick lighting, and other gimmicks. It might be a little hard for some of us to believe that people were that gullible just a few decades ago but what may be even harder to believe concerns an attraction that was 100% real and involved no trickery whatsoever. Once upon a time, tattooed women were so rare that people paid money to see them. Betty Broadbent retired in 1967.

BLINK Is Back

Of course, there were some official police vehicles leading the way but the real 2022 BLINK Cincinnati parade started off with this happy guy in a glowing pedal-powered pig. I probably could have staked out a spot with a clear view when I arrived but, as usual, I walked around looking at stuff until spectators two or more deep lined the route. Even so, I could see most of the parade; I just couldn’t get a clear camera shot very often. I believe that when BLINK happened in 2017 it was seen as a one-time experiment. It might not have been thought of that way by everyone but that is kind of the way it was presented. The experiment was so successful that it came back in 2019 and this time it was advertised as a biennial event. It was quickly knocked off of the planned pace by COVID-19 but only by a year. Instead of a 2021 appearance, it’s happening now in 2022.

I can’t attach names to many of the parade participants but I do know that’s Dance Flash Fusion in black and green.

Everyone in these pictures shall remain nameless because I haven’t a clue. The gals in the first picture almost look like they can fly when they spread their wings.

The major new thing at this year’s BLINK would be synchronized drones over the Ohio River and that’s where I headed as soon as the parade ended. I snapped a picture of the “Together” light sculpture and continued on to the river’s edge. I arrived about half an hour before show time but the half-mile walk to get there put me in the mood to stand still for a while. Waiting was pretty pleasant with interesting river scenes on one side and good music on the other. “39 West” provided the music although neither they nor the stage is shown on the BLINK website.

From my spot on the railing, I could see the drones lift off row by row then dance through various formations over the water.

I believe the “eye” is more or less the BLINK logo. A short video I took of part of the show can be seen here

After the drone show, I headed uptown. The area is most often referred to as downtown but getting there from the riverfront is definitely up. The mural of famous travel photographer Neil Armstrong with his camera is not part of BLINK but one of Cincinnati’s many permanent ArtWorks murals. The building beyond is the Contemporary Art Center which is being used for the “The Manifold Potential” projection.

This is a projection named “Little Africa”. It’s one of the few displays I’d read anything about before going and really the only one I sort of sought out. It begins with or ends with or maybe just contains this text panel

I’m rather partial to mapped projections. I prefer them to what BLINK calls light sculptures even though I’m not 100% sure I could explain the difference. In my mind, projections contain actual images and are often formatted to match the target surface. Light sculptures are closer to psychedelic light shows of the 1960s shining abstract patterns onto the target. This is a projection called “To the Moon” on the American Building.

I didn’t quite reach “The Inside Out” but I did reach Ziegler Park from where I could see the projection in the distance. Ziegler Park is as far north and east as I made it. Earlier in the evening, I’d thought I might grab something to eat at Asianati Night Market where ten local Asian restaurants had stands set up. However, when I finally stumbled into the place on my way to the car, all I wanted to do was keep moving. I know I saw a lot less than half of all the displays but I think I’ll just have to be satisfied with that. In 2019, I attended two nights and still didn’t see it all. I could go back ln Sunday evening for one more shot following publication of this post but I doubt I will. I’m much more likely to be sitting at home resting my still-tired feet.